…or to those who might be someday (just put this in a mental file, labeled “Easy Ways to Eff Up My Kids a Little Less.”
I know you can’t stand your ex (or not quite ex) spouse. I know that though you love your kids to pieces, you wish you had never met that ex and don’t like any reminder that you have even done the deed with them and produced children.
But when you call their other parent “your mother” or “your father”–instead of whatever you used to call that individual when you all lived in the same house? Your kids really hate that. It’s really hurtful. It makes them feel weird and very uncomfortable and sad. They know their parents are not together. They don’t need this extra emphasis on the No Connection Whatsoever, even if you do.
Take my word for it and just suck it up and say “Dad” to them, even if you’re using “their father” to your friends. They might thank you for it later.
I’m just saying.